It Matters to Me
by Somethingmoreclever
Summary: Lance tells Keith what happened while he was gone. One shot.


A/N: Hey guys! This is my first ever fic, so if it's a bit messy, that's why. This one shot is inspired by a deleted scene from taylortot's fic Desert Rain. It's set sometime after season six. Hope you enjoy!

"Oh, and I died."

Lance's voice breaks the silence that settled in the kitchen.

Keith stops moving his knife across the now half-eaten apple he'd been slicing.

"What?"

Lance eyes move to Keith and widen slightly when he sees Keith staring harshly back at him, demanding an explanation.

"Yeah," he shrugs, "I got hit by this huge energy thing, but Allura saved me. All I remember is getting hit and then... nothing." Lance pauses for a moment before catching himself. "Until I woke up in Red's cockpit with Allura. It's not really a big deal, I'm fine."

Keith doesn't answer, instead moving his gaze to the floor. Lance keeps his gaze on Keith.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Keith finally asks.

Lance shrugs again, out of habit. "Didn't matter, I guess." He stands to put his plate away.

Keith's eyes jerk up to Lance, his eyebrows in a deep furrow. "Didn't matter? Are you serious?"

"Hey, it's not like that's even the craziest thing that's happened lately, let alone the most important. Heck, we just found out Shiro was a clone!" Lance sets his plate in the sink and begins washing it while speaking nonchalantly. "We're in the middle of an intergalactic war, people die. I didn't stay dead and Allura was there, so it's fine."

"You should have told me sooner."

Lance stops and turns to look at Keith. "Why?" Lance challenges. "It doesn't make any difference now. Keith, I'm alive. I told you as a fun little fact not-"

Keith interrupts.

"You- you don't have to brush this off, Lance. You died." He rubs his eyes. "I can't believe no one said anything." His gloved hands drop from his face. "Didn't matter..."

It hits Lance for the first time since the incident that, maybe, it was a big deal that he died, and maybe it would have been treated as such if Keith had been there. Keith wouldn't have let Lance's death be let go so easily. Lance hadn't put much thought into it before.

"I- I'm sorry."

Keith freezes. He looks at Lance.

"You're sorry? What are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry about."

"You're mad though."

Keith sighs and runs his fingers through his long hair as he tries to keep his voice level, so Lance doesn't try to apologize again. "Yeah, but not at you."

Silence begins to stretch as Lance leans against the counter, at a loss for words, and Keith contemplates the new information, brooding. Minutes pass before Lance can no longer handle the tension and speaks.

"Listen, can we just forget I said anything?" Beat. "I'm gonna go see what, uh, Hunk is up to." He begins walking toward the door. "I'm sure he nee-"

"Lance."

Lance freezes halfway out the doorway. He turns his head slightly, not enough to look at Keith, but just enough to silently urge Keith to speak.

"I should have been there. I can't help but think that maybe if I had been there, this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, Lance." Keith's eyes move down to his hands.

"What are you talking about?"

Keith jerks his head up. Lance still hasn't turned around.

"I-I … what?" Keith says dumbly.

Lance finally turns around, arms flailing as he says, "You just told me not to apologize, and now you are? Keith, how in the world could you think this is your fault? I pushed the blue lion out of the way of that beam, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was my choice. What makes you think that would have changed if you were there?" Lance stares expectantly at Keith for his answer.

Keith opens his mouth to speak but doesn't. He closes it.

"It's not that," he finally says. "It's just-" he stops and sighs before looking Lance in the eye. "I couldn't do this without you, Lance."

It's Lance's turn to be shocked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I couldn't lead without you."

Lance looks away. "Well, I'm sure you'd find a new red paladin just fine."

Keith huffs and gets out of his chair. "No, you don't get it. I, Keith, could not pilot the black lion without you, Lance, as my right hand. It wouldn't be because no one was piloting the red lion, it would be because you wouldn't be there. I need you, Lance."

At this, Lance looks back at Keith. He says nothing. There's so much in his head that he doesn't think he could speak yet. After many moments of silence, Keith breaks it.

"Listen, I know you think that your death didn't matter, but it matters to me, okay?"

Keith walks toward the door. Lance grabs his wrist.

"Keith," he says softly.

Keith freezes and looks down at Lance's hand before looking up at Lance's gentle smile.

"Thank you."

Keith smiles back. The two stay this way for several seconds, staring at one another. Neither wants to let go.

Until they do.

When the two hear footsteps coming toward the kitchen, they break contact. They both look in the direction of the noise.

"Um, I should, uh"

"Yeah, me too."

The two part and go their separate ways.


End file.
